So you can’t afford two seats? Next time pass the hat, I’m sure all your fellow passengers will be very generous!” The woman turned her face to the window, and in the reflection, James could see the tears running down her cheeks. “Listen,” he said. “I have a friend who runs a clinic down in Mexico, I’m sure he’d give you a liposuction mucho cheapo!” Sobs were shaking the young woman’s shoulders by the time James felt repaid for the discomfort he felt from being squeezed in next to her soft bulk. So when the attendant came around with the drinks cart, he asked for a Martini.Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.“Shaken,
not stirred!” he told the pretty flight attendant in his best James Bond voice, then added, “I don’t know what Moby Dick here will drink…”The pretty attendant pressed her lips together tightly and threw him a disapproving glance. then she addressed the woman next to her. “Ma’am, would you like anything to drink?”The woman nodded and wiped at her eyes. “Yes please, a diet Coke.”James scoffed. “Don’t you think it’s a bit late in the game for a diet Coke?” Both the flight attendant and the woman ignored him, but James felt a little glow when he realized he’d upset them both.He lay back and nibbled on an olive and sipped on his Martini while the woman next to him sipped her diet Coke. He realized with a shudder that she’d have to go to the bathroom sooner or later and would be squeezing past him…Not long after he’d had his last sip, the flight attendant came along with dinner. She set a pretty tray in front of him, and another in front of his fellow passenger.“Are you sure that will be enough?” James asked the flight attendant, “Because I think it would take a village to feed this lady!”The flight attendant ignored him and went on to serve the other passengers in first class. “That was rude of her, wasn’t it?” James asked the woman sitting next to him, “I think I’ll complain about her.” But his fellow passenger ignored him too, and so James dug into the truly excellent dinner. He was sipping the last of his wine when the flight attendant came back, and this time, she was all smiles. “Excuse me,” she said, “The captain is a huge fan, and he’d love to invite you up to the cockpit?” James was startled and then saw that the flight attendant was talking to the big woman next to him, who was smiling and blushing and nodding. This meant that James had to get up and let her by. The flight attendant led the woman away and James sat back down. He thought that he was going to be sending off quite a few unpleasant emails to the company’s management about service and conditions in first class on their flights. He was mentally composing some prime rants when the captain’s voice come over the speakers: “Ladies and gentlemen. We have a celebrity among us! If you are fans of ‘I Love Opera’ like me, you will recognize the voice!” A lovely voice filled the cabin, singing a few bars from a famous aria and the passengers all started clapping and commenting excitedly among themselves. “That’s right!” the captain said. “It’s the lovely Miss Allison Jones, and she’s flying with us to do a charity concert for world hunger!” The whole plane erupted into applause, and James cringed. Then the flight attendant came over. “Listen up, buster,” she said in a cold, hard voice. “I don’t care how many millions you have, if you upset that girl again, I’m putting you in economy.” James opened his mouth to protest and caught the glint in the flight attendant’s eye. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “It’s not me you have to apologize to!” she said. A while later, the big woman, Allison Jones was back, smiling and signing autographs for the other passengers. James jumped to his feet to allow her to take her seat. “Listen,” he said with his most charming smile. “I’m sorry if I was a little rude, I had no idea who you were!” Allison turned to look at him and James saw that she had the most beautiful eyes. “It doesn’t matter who I am. You shouldn’t treat people like that, EVER! And besides, you’re not sorry. Would you even be apologizing if I wasn’t semi-famous? You know, I can’t help my weight, but you can change your attitude. Stop judging people.” James shut his mouth and sank back into his seat and didn’t say another word until they landed in Portland.
